Project 1- Portfolio 1
Welcome to my Project 1 Portfolio 1 blog. Below you will find three pieces of work that I began in previous lessons, and have chosen to develop further for this project. I have chosen two fiction pieces and one nonfiction piece of writing, in order to display the range of skills that I have acquired from the beginning of this course and present these skills in multiple different genres and writing techniques. I have evaluated each piece of work and demonstrated my writing process when crafting this work, by highlighting my aims, development, techniques, and evaluation.
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Piece one - Opening to a crime story developed
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Piece two - Developing a book review
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Piece three - Developing 'Having a cup of tea with you' poem
Chosen Piece 1 - Opening to a crime story developed
Introduction
This is my first chosen piece for my portfolio and it is a development of an 'Opening to a Crime Story' that I began to write during our 'Genre and Tone' lessons. I developed this opening into the next part of the short story that I plan to complete in the future. This development is the midway point in the story. I have taken inspiration from my initial opening draft. It is a work in progress of a short story that I created about a set of murders that took place at a police station in 1965. My main character was the only police officer who wasn't murdered, therefore he was given the job of solving the heinous crimes committed by an unknown suspect. Following these bizarre chains of events, my protagonist (now appointed chief detective), has to get justice for his brutally murdered co-workers, while unfolding the motives of this criminal and why he himself was the only one not targeted. I have written in a particular style that comes across as a combination of a creative story and a real-time account of the murders. I focused primarily on the plot of the story, yet also delved into the craft of character development, using techniques I learned in previous sessions. I have decided to title this piece 'A Boston Bandit'.
As I mentioned, this piece is not completed and is a work in progress. I have however developed the body of the story in this portfolio and written about the process, my crafting skills, and how I intend to complete this story in the future.
Ideas and inspiration
The idea for this piece came from inspiration from several pieces of crime writing by Ernest
Hemmingway whom I had previously read and studied. In particular, ‘Gunmen’s Wild Political War in Chicago’ by Hemmingway had an exceptional impact of crafting and developing my idea for my own crime story. By taking inspiration from this story, my ideas mimicked the well-written theme and style of writing that Hemmingway demonstrates, including the combination of Creative writing and Feature writing styles. This way of writing was another major factor when it came to developing this story, as it contains themes and topics that I am particularly intrigued by, especially the aspect of covering a major event in a creative manner.
- Gunmen's Wild Political War in Chicago extract
Throughout our sessions in class, the week we studied the art of Genre and Tone initially helped me better understand the main premise of crime writing, including attributes and characteristics involved in this genre. In particular, our study and analysis of extracts from famous crime stories, including authors like Truman Capote and Raymond Chandler interested me. I heavily took inspiration from these types of authors who wrote old-fashioned crime writing pieces, using tone and crime conventions to craft an excellent story.
I was particularly interested in creating an effective plot within my piece, and our sessions in the course that revolved around Character, Plot and setting. A particular exercise that helped me was learning about the 'Hero's Journey'. This is a common template of a broad category of tales that involves a hero that goes on an adventure, and in a decisive crisis wins a victory and then comes home changed or transformed. Although the premise of my piece does differ from the average story using this template, I still found the layout and sections helpful to organise my plot ideas and bring my story to life.
- Character, plot, and setting sessions
During our week studying genre, tone, and character, one particular conversation sparked my idea for this piece further. When discussing genre conventions with my peers I found that old-fashioned crime novels were often overlooked and classed as 'outdated' by many young people. I decided to conduct some research regarding modern crime novels and writers and find out what the most popular crime novels were at the moment. Below I have written up my research and results, including questions and interviews from my peers.
Secondary Research
To conduct my secondary research, I began to find out about the most popular crime novels and stories and how relevant they are based on the time period they were released. This is important as old-fashioned crime novels and writers from the 20th century have been my main influence when writing my own crime piece. By researching why this style of writing is becoming out of fashion, I found a list of the most popular modern crime novels at the moment and analysed the author's target audience and how their writing differs from less modern writers such as Ernest Hemingway and Truman Capote.
The reference that I found was sourced from the 'Waterstones' website, and is reporting on 'The best crime and thriller books of 2023'. (linked here)
From looking at this page, I found that almost all of the books listed were released after 2018, and all had a modern feel to them. For example, Hercule Poirot's Silent Night by Sophie Hannah was listed as one of the most recommended crime novels, and although it is reviewed as a good read, the theme of the book is modern and set in today's society. This further pushes my point that many of the crime novels and stories that we read today lack the same dark, gloomy, old-fashioned tone that many of my writing inspirations had, which only made me want to recreate this style of writing more. Alternatively, I think many authors are now trying to incorporate vintage styles of writing into their work as authors such as Ernest Hemmingway and Arthur Conan Doyle had such popularity with their books due to this specific vibe that they are creating within their stories.
I also used research as a way to help improve my writing skills and understand my style of writing for this piece. For example I researched crime writing prompts to help warm up my story ideas and inspire my creativity. This was useful as having a short piece of information to create a story from caused me to be more imaginative whilst gaining further knowledge about crime conventions and themes. The website that I sourced these prompts from is linked here: 100 crime fiction writing prompts - EveryWriter (everywritersresource.com)
Primary Research
I decided to interview some of my peers from a younger generation to find out why they think this vintage style of writing is not as popular, and if they are in favour of authors bringing it back and combining it with their predominantly modern novels. I asked my classmates Ella (17) and Becks (16) these questions and the response I got helped me to understand the preferences of my target audience and how I could incorporate the older style of writing within my short story, without it seeming too outdated. Ella claimed that she liked a handful of classic crime novels, although she think that some of them could be 'Not relatable to a younger audience, due to the main themes and language choice.' When I asked Ella what her favourite crime novel was she told me it was 'Murder on the Orient Express' by Agatha Christie.
Gaining this knowledge through interviewing and inquiring my classmates ultimately impacted the way that I wrote this story, as I understood how to appeal to a younger audience through language and theme techniques. Following this, I proof read my first draft and edited any slightly confusing dialogue or word choice to help the piece flow and hook the reader.
Skill sessions
The skill sessions that helped me to craft and create this piece were mainly sourced from our 'Genre and Tone' week, in which we analysed a range of extracts from crime novels and identified the key elements that bring the theme of mystery and crime together. Reading and researching these extracts greatly impacted my inspiration and ideas for my own piece, whilst helping me to understand the structure and tone of a good story. An example of this was an extract from 'The Big Sleep' by Raymond Chandler as I was intrigued by the element of mystery and suspicion that Chandler had effectively used. I think that exercises like these have impacted my knowledge as a writer as it has taught me that any extract or chapter from my story should be interesting, gripping and contain the correct conventions, just like the examples we looked at. I was also interested in Chandler's character work and development within the story, which brings me to talk about another skill session that affected my piece. Although I was predominately focused on the plot of my story, my characters were also a very important element when it came to setting the tone of my piece. I looked back at the skills that I obtained during our 'Character, Plot and Setting' week and used exercises and tasks to help with my character development. For example, I picked my main character of my short story and decided to to answer the 'character study questions' that we were given in this session. Answering these questions helped me to get a better grasp of my main character, and I became more confident when writing his thoughts and dialogue. I have placed this character study in my 'Pre-Production' page for this piece.
I also focused on creating an understandable plot and structure for my story, which I again learned from the 'Character, Plot and Setting' sessions. In particular, the exercise in which we used a mind-map layout to record ideas for the plot helped me to organise my ideas and understand how I wanted to structure my piece. I have created a similar mind map for this crime piece, and it can be seen in my ' Pre-Production' section.
Independent reading
Since I had an interest in 20th-century crime novels, I decided to do some independent reading in my own time, which ultimately impacted my ideas and inspiration to create my own short story. An example of something that I read is 'The ABC Murders by Agatha Christie (linked here). This is a work of detective fiction, where Christie introduces many of her most iconic characters, such as Hercule Poirot and Arthur Hastings. Reading this book help to inspire and influence my own crime story due to the mysterious characters that the author creates. The mysterious murderer known only as the 'A.B.C' holds the same ominous essence that I wanted to mimic in my own unknown murderer character, and I admired how effortlessly Christie crafted these characters to provoke genuine fear. This is one of the aims of my writing, so reading and analysing work from classic mystery/crime writers greatly influenced me.
Aims and Ambitions for this piece
When writing this piece, I wanted to create a creepy, gripping opening to a crime story that has the power to affect a reader without being the length of an entire novel. I aimed to have an old-fashioned, vintage tone to my story, yet I still wanted my target audience to be young adults, so I tried to also keep it modern, so it is easy to read. The use of dialogue was a main factor within my story, as I felt it added an element of understanding between the readers and the characters. With this piece of writing, I overall hope to achieve a unique, beginning of a short story that could potentially make its way into a writers magazine or a short-story column in a newspaper. The skills that I have acquired when writing this piece could aid me when it comes to future career in creative and novel writing, though also have transferrable skills relating to Journalism and poetry. The opening of my story is more of a blunt description of the events that have happened and the crime, which is helpful when it comes to newswriting as I could include the use of focusing on important details stated first, which is present in both my story and a news article. The use of descriptive language to portray thoughts, events and emotions within my own story could additionally have a positive and helpful effect when it comes to writing poetry, as it has helped me to practise conveying my theme without being too direct, and instead using words and language, which is used in a range of poetry.
Pre-Production
Character study Questions
Part of my process of writing this piece was to be confident within all areas of my story, including plot, character and setting. As I elaborated on when talking about my skill sessions, I have answered a list of questions to help create and shape my character from an exercise that we were given during 'Character, Plot and Setting' week. The character is the main protagonist in my story, and a character that I have developed.
What is their name? Herbert Reid
How old are they? 37
Where are they from? Boston
What’s their job? Police Officer
Do they feel comfortable in their surroundings? No, they feel uneasy
What time is it? 4pm
What’s the weather like? Snowy and dark
What can they hear? Hushed murmurs and sobs of staff
What can they see? The bodies of his co-workers, surrounded by police tape
How do they feel? Confused, Overwhelmed
What do they need most at this moment in their life? A strong whiskey
What trouble might they be in? In danger of being killed
Do they have siblings? One older sister
Are their parents still alive? No
What sort of an education did they have? College education
When did they first get drunk? (if they ever have) At the age of 15
What’s the worst thing that’s ever happened to them? These murders
The best thing that’s ever happened to them? Becoming a police officer
When did they last cry? Months ago
Who did they last kiss? A mysterious woman in a bar
Who do they live with? Do they live alone? He lives alone
What do they like most about themselves? His ambition
What’s their worst habit? Smoking
What are they most ashamed of? Not speaking to his parents before they died
What makes them happiest? Drinking
What was the best time of their life? His rebellious university years
Do they own a pet? No
What was their New Year’s resolution? To stop smoking
What’s their favourite band or piece of music? The rolling Stones, and the occasional Debussy piece.
If you gave them £100, what shop would they spend it in? A luxury pack of cigars
What’s their most treasured possession? A gold plated ring he inherited from his father
What’s their biggest fear? The dark
Are they in a relationship? A happy one? No, he is single
Are they a parent? No
If money was no object, where would they live? In a mansion in Northen Italy
How do they feel about where they live now? Not complaining
What is the worst thing that could happen to them? Not solving the crimes he has been given
What would be the best thing that could happen? Revenge to the killer
Story and Plot Mind Map
Another part of my pre-production for this piece was to create a mind map that included my initial ideas for the story, specifically the plot. I have explained and elaborated on why this exercise was helpful in my 'Skill Sessions' section above. This mind map explains the overall plot of my piece. Although this piece of work is only the beginning of the body of the main story, I still intend to complete the whole piece in the future. This is why I included this mind map, as I will still find some elements of it helpful and relevant when writing my opening.
Skills, techniques and process of my piece - How I developed it
As I had originally only been given the prompt to write the opening of a crime story, I decided to write my further development of this piece, which includes the mid-section of the story. A short story felt like the best fit for this piece of work as it would accentuate the plot further, which was one of my main focuses when writing this piece. I decided to keep the opening of the story relatively similar to the first draft, though I did edit it, in order to help the theme become clearer and more concise, whilst still hooking the reader and urging them to continue reading. I achieved this by editing and re-writing the perspective of who is telling the story of the murders. I decided that for my second draft, it should be more of a narration than a first-person point of view coming from my main character. By doing this, I found that the premise of the piece would be easier to understand as the main character's thoughts and emotions were not consuming the event and telling the reader how they feel instead of the reader making their own judgments. The switch in point of view also helped to enhance the mysterious tone of the story, as it asks questions, such as who is this nameless narrator, and do they have any involvement in the crime? This was important as a main convention of the crime genre is the eeriness of the unknown, and the fear instilled by a murderer on the loose. I did, however, decide to keep the second paragraph of the opening which describes the poison, as I felt it was written clearly and did not change the perspective. Another element that I included was the use of the dialogue, which I felt helped the opening to flow, and helped to gain an insight into the different characters within the plot. These edits were also partially inspired by feedback regarding my second draft from my tutor Greg, who said that the tone of the opening helps to push the crime conventions that I have used. This was helpful as it reminded me of the importance of tone within my story, which I improved by changing the point of view.
When creating the next part of this piece/the final development in regards to this portfolio, one of the things that I focused on was introducing my characters. I switched the point of view back to my main character and used his thoughts and inner monologue as a storytelling device. I used a range of descriptive language to convey a mysterious tone, which I think helps the reader to immerse themselves into the events of the story, and understand what is happening within the plot.
Original text/First Draft
This is the first draft of my original 'opening to a crime story piece' from our weekly sessions.
It was now 1pm. The entire communion of the Melrose Police Station had dropped dead. Just like that. All but one person. Me. My safety had become compromised, and it was my job to clean up the mess, before I became the mess myself.
The poisonings were not random, that much was evident. An abnormally precise dose of arsenic was infiltrated within ten cups of coffee, the cups which came across as a heartfelt gesture at first glance. Three Hundred milligrams of inorganic arsenic, enough to take out a grown man in mere hours.
Chief Detective Miller was the first victim. He shouted orders left and right, unintelligent requests to pick up the pace, in which I rolled my eyes in response as he huffed and walked away.
I did not see the label on the coffees though apparently it was a kind message scribbled on a post-it note. You wouldn’t think anything of it. Perhaps a receptionist in a rather good mood. It was Sunday, a day in which I would usually wind down and fill out endless amounts of paperwork. It hadn’t crossed my mind that such sly killings would happen in the blink of an eye. 10 coffees. Those coffees made my stomach churn just thinking about them. Thank God I wasn’t thirsty. Such lack of thirst that rescued me from one of the most prominent killing sprees in history.
Drafting Process
This draft is a second draft of my original opening. I wanted to finalise and edit this part of the story before I began to write the rest of the piece. As I mentioned previously, I was mainly satisfied with the original opening of my crime story, so I didn't change it entirely with my second draft, although there were some elements that I felt could be improved, such as the conciseness and the tone, which I worked on within my second draft. In order to achieve this, I switched the perspective of the character narrating the opening.
By 1 p.m., an unfortunate fate had made its way into the systems of the entirety of Melrose Police Station. All but one policeman had avoided the inevitable demise of the killings, yet the safety of this man had become a ticking time bomb, and he had little time to solve this heinous spree before the bomb went off and blew him to pieces.
The poisonings were not random, that much was evident. An abnormally precise dose of arsenic was infiltrated within ten cups of coffee, the cups which came across as a heartfelt gesture at first glance. Three Hundred milligrams of inorganic arsenic, enough to take out a grown man in mere hours.
Chief Detective Miller was the first to go. ''Can we get moving please?'' he shouted before striding away with a huff, a noticeable lack of enthusiasm in his orders, an attitude to be fixed by the warmth of a fresh cup of coffee.
''For all your hard work'', the label read. Miller smirked at the clumsily written message and reached out for a cup without second thought, before ordering the receptionist to deliver the rest to the police on duty that day. Sunday. The day of rest. Perhaps now to be renamed the day of death, thought many. The day in which 10 beverages were found sitting by the front door of the police station, a stepping stone in a case that had yet to become one of the most sinister crimes in history, and certainly something to remember when accepting drinks from strangers.
First Draft of all my developments
This is the first draft of my developments for this story put together, which is an unedited version of my initial ideas and layout of the piece.
By 1 p.m., an unfortunate fate had made its way into the systems of the entirety of Melrose Police Station. All but one policeman had avoided the inevitable demise of the killings, yet the safety of this man had become a ticking time bomb, and he had little time to solve this heinous spree before the bomb went off and blew him to pieces.
The poisonings were not random, that much was evident. An abnormally precise dose of arsenic was infiltrated within ten cups of coffee, the cups which came across as a heartfelt gesture at first glance. Three Hundred milligrams of inorganic arsenic, enough to take out a grown man in mere hours.
Chief Detective Miller was the first to go. ''Can we get moving please?'' he shouted before striding away with a huff, a noticeable lack of enthusiasm in his orders, an attitude to be fixed by the warmth of a fresh cup of coffee.
''For all your hard work'', the label read. Miller smirked at the clumsily written message and reached out for a cup without second thought, before ordering the receptionist to deliver the rest to the police on duty that day. Sunday. The day of rest. Perhaps now to be renamed the day of death, thought many. The day in which 10 beverages were found sitting by the front door of the police station, a stepping stone in a case that had yet to become one of the most sinister crimes in history, and certainly something to remember when accepting drinks from strangers.
Herbert Reid was an ordinary person, he would think. A man in his mid-thirties, content with his ever-so-average life. After recently being promoted to a standard case officer in Melrose police station, he had happily settled in with the bustling lifestyle of New York, which just so happened to involve a pack of Marlboro Reds a day, two brisk walks, and mountains of files buried amongst an endless river of procrastinated tasks. As mentioned, a painfully ordinary soul. That was until the morning of December eighth, 1965.
Shrieks of terror rang through Herbert's ears as he impolitely excused himself from the blood-stained hardwood floors, such distress painted all over the ground, spilling from gaping mouths scattered across the ground. He knew it was poison, it simply had to be. There was no such thing as expired milk, or dodgy sugar cubes that could emit such gore-like suffering from a dozen police officers at once. Pale faces and dead eyes, the perpetrator being the one and only green devil – pure arsenic. Herbert was no Sherlock Holmes, though even a local south-side cop could figure out the liquid weapon that was used.
Just as the grief-stricken man began to fill out a mental case report regarding the endless possibilities of how this marvelously smooth atrocity had manifested itself, a feather-light hand placed itself on his forearm. It seemed nervous yet secure, and as Herbert turned around, he caught a glimpse of a single set of dazzling green eyes, appearing to be searching for his soul – seductive, ambiguous, and utterly intimidating all at once.
Production
Final completed piece - Crime Writing
A Boston Bandit
By 1 p.m., an unfortunate fate had made its way into the systems of the entirety of Melrose Police Station. All but one policeman had avoided the inevitable demise of the killings, yet the safety of this man had become a ticking time bomb, and he had little time to solve this heinous spree before the bomb went off and blew him to pieces.
The poisonings were not random, that much was evident. An abnormally precise dose of arsenic was infiltrated within ten cups of coffee, the cups which came across as a heartfelt gesture at first glance. Three Hundred milligrams of inorganic arsenic, enough to take out a grown man in mere hours.
Chief Detective Miller was the first to go. ''Can we get moving please?'' he shouted before striding away with a huff, a noticeable lack of enthusiasm in his orders, an attitude to be fixed by the warmth of a fresh cup of coffee.
''For all your hard work'', the label read. Miller smirked at the clumsily written message and reached out for a cup without second thought, before ordering the receptionist to deliver the rest to the police on duty that day. Sunday. The day of rest. Perhaps now to be renamed the day of death, thought many. The day in which 10 beverages were found sitting by the front door of the police station, a stepping stone in a case that had yet to become one of the most sinister crimes in history, and certainly something to remember when accepting drinks from strangers.
Herbert Reid once thought of himself as an ordinary person. A man in his mid-thirties, content with his ever-so-average life. After recently being promoted to a standard case officer in Melrose police station, he had happily settled in with the bustling lifestyle of New York, which just so happened to involve a pack of Marlboro Reds a day, two brisk walks, and mountains of files swimming amongst an endless river of procrastinated tasks. As mentioned, a painfully ordinary person. That was until the morning of December eighth, 1965.
Shrieks of terror from receptionist staff still rang through Herbert's ears as he impolitely excused himself from the blood-stained hardwood floors, such distress painted all over the ground, spilling from the gaping mouths of his colleagues. He knew it was poison, it simply had to be. There was no such thing as expired milk, or questionable sugar cubes that could emit such gore-like suffering from a dozen police officers at once. Pale faces and dead eyes, the perpetrator being the one and only green devil – pure arsenic. Herbert was no Sherlock Holmes, though even a local south-side cop could figure out the liquid weapon that was used.
Just as the grief-stricken man began to fill out a mental case report regarding the endless possibilities of how this marvelously smooth atrocity had manifested itself, a feather-light hand placed itself on his forearm. It seemed nervous yet secure, and as Herbert turned around, he caught a glimpse of a single set of dazzling viridescent eyes, two soul-detecting orbs– seductive, ambiguous, and utterly intimidating all at once.
Chosen piece 1 - Evaluation
My process when developing this piece of writing was initially to expand my 'opening to a crime story' piece, which came from a prompt during our Genre and Tone sessions in class. I felt passionate about the theme and idea of my original opening which is why I chose it to be one of my three portfolio pieces, and my first thought was to develop it into a short story. I decided that I wasn't going to complete the whole short story within this portfolio, as I wanted to demonstrate my crafting and writing techniques in depth, which I thought could be achieved by zooming in on one smaller part of my story - the mid-section/body of the piece. Choosing a specific area within my short story has allowed me to explore a range of skills in greater depth, such as crime conventions, imagery, plot structure, and character building.
I began my writing process by editing my original opening and evaluating the elements that I thought needed improvement. By evaluating the first draft myself, along with suggestions from my peers, I understood that in order to make the opening of my story more likely to draw the readers in immediately, I had to change the perspective of who was narrating the events. The original version was the details of the murders told in first person by my main character, though upon reflection I realised that this narration sounded too much like a chaotic train of thoughts rather than an informative and ominous recount of the relevant events. This is when I decided to change it to a third-person description, which I think sounds like an unknown narrator telling a story that has happened in the past. This immediately adds an ominous/creepy tone of mystery, which is exactly what I was aiming for when writing a crime story.
I have expanded on the drafting/crafting process for the rest of my piece in my pre-production section above.
After completing my final draft I could begin to identify the strengths in my work, but also some areas that may need improvement.
Throughout my story, I have used a range of literary techniques that I have learned in class, such as plot structure, character work and efficient and powerful word choice that aids the main themes and tone of my story. Whilst I have identified the strengths within my work, during my proof reading and crafting process I was able to point out the areas that needed improvement. An example of this includes the length of this piece, and how I could have improved my time management when writing this. Although I am overall satisfied with the final story, I would like to develop it even further to highlight my skills even more and continue to create a world within my story in which I thoroughly enjoy. Reflecting upon this area of improvement has been a prevalant aspect of my writers journey, as it has allowed me to understand the importance of managing time when writing something that I am passionate about, which is a skill that can be transferred when writing any other kind of work. It also highlights the importance of planning and researching all elements of a story before you write it, as makes the entire writing process easier in the long run.
Possible career fields that are related to the skills that I have included in this piece, include Novel writing, short story writing and script writing.
Chosen Piece 2 -
Developing a feature article
Introduction
This is my second chosen piece of writing, and it is a feature piece based on a book review that I wrote during our 'review Writing' sessions in class. In these review sessions, we were given the task of writing two reviews, both about different topics. For my first review, I decided to write about the book 'My Year of Rest and Relaxation' by Ottessa Moshfegh. I am a big fan of the book itself and admire the writing style of Ottessa Moshfegh, which is why I decided to review it. I didn't think that the review itself needed developing, which is why I decided to use the premise of the original review and turn it into a feature article. The article takes inspiration from the controversy surrounding Moshfegh's writing, and how other modern authors have increasingly used similar techniques of glorifying mental health issues within their work. I expand on the reasoning behind the criticism of these potentially harmful tropes and explain how similar themes and ideas have manifested themselves in other modern novels. I have embedded this article with relevant quotes from interviews, personal experiences, and opinions from those around me.
Ideas and inspiration
My main idea for this piece came from the initial review I wrote about 'My Year of Rest and Relaxation' by Ottessa Moshfegh during our review writing sessions in class. I was particularly intrigued by one aspect of this review, which is the controversy and criticism the author has received regarding the unlikeable main protagonist, and how she seems to continuously glamorise mental health issues. As I was doing research for the review, I became aware of the negative reviews surrounding this aspect of the book, and how it isn't a good representation of young women, due to the character's ignorance and blind privilege. This sparked my imagination as I have noticed similar tropes of seemingly 'ungrateful', oblivious, and privileged characters written in many other novels throughout the years, even present in other books by Ottessa Moshfegh.
This is when I decided that a feature article would be the best fit for what I wanted to write about, as I wanted it to be informative, snappy, and include external interviews to give an insight into differing/contrasting opinions.
My passion for alternative female writers also encouraged my idea as I wanted to delve into whether the controversy surrounding Ottessa Moshfeghs's writing is simply due to personal dislikes, or if there could be any deeper-rooted reasoning to this, such as discrimination and ignorance surrounding satirical modern writing.
Overall, my inspiration came from a specific topic that I briefly mentioned in my original book review, which inspired me to delve deeper into this specific topic/issue and write a feature article surrounding it.
Research
When conducting research for this feature article, I decided to research modern novels that portray similar issues that can relate to what I am writing about, in order to compare and contrast the reviews and opinions on mental health portrayed in media, therefore having a better understanding of the impact on the public. Additionally, I interviewed people who I felt could incorporate a range of opinions and add some human interest and real-life accounts into my article, therefore increasing the interest among readers. Researching in two different ways highlighted the difference and importance of primary research compared to secondary research, which overall aided my skills and understanding as a writer, especially when it comes to feature writing/journalism.
Skill sessions
The skill sessions that helped me write and develop this article were predominantly from Week 2, Journalism. In particular,
Aims and ambitions for this piece
My aims and ambitions for this piece were to create an interesting and engaging feature article surrounding the romanticization of mental health in modern literature. I wanted to steer away from my piece sounding too much like an essay, as I had problems with this when writing my first draft.
I strived to incorporate relevant research and interviews to enhance human interest and difference of opinions
Pre-Production
Skills techniques and Process of this piece - How I developed it
My first draft of this feature article was a demonstration of my initial, unedited thoughts and ideas that I had for this piece. It contained the primary themes and content that I wanted to portray, although I felt it lacked relevant context and wasn't as attention-grabbing as I wanted it to come across. These notes I had about the hook and interest in the beginning of the article was the first thing that I aimed to improve, as it is one of the main important components of a feature article. I fixed this problem by cutting down/shortening the introduction, and also adding a well-worded and interesting synopsis.
Original review
This is my original book review which sparked my inspiration for this feature article.
The classic sad, rich girl trope - a taste of delusion that is oddly relatable
'My Year of Rest and Relaxation' by Ottessa Moshfegh is a polarising, satirical piece, that is strangely intriguing and darkly hilarious, yet leaves you questioning why this is such a relatable read.
Ottessa Moshfegh is an American Novelist, and undoubtedly one of the great modern satirists of our time, who incorporates a sharp, modern feminine perspective into renditions of classic tales. Moshfegh has proven an exceptional ability to craft alluring and complex characters, beginning with her debut novel, Eileen, and more famously, the fantastic novel that is 'My Year of Rest and Relaxation'.
The premise of this book follows the life of the nameless protagonist, a wealthy woman in her mid-twenties, living in New York City in the year 2000. Evidently depressed in her current stage of life, we learn about her plan to numb this utter exhaustion by sleeping for an entire year. Stricken by an empty void of loss, dead parents, and a hefty sum of inheritance money, Mosfegh begs the question - Is sleeping your life away a cowardly escape or a spiritual rebirth?
We are given a gripping insight into the life of this young woman, including the outlandish characters in her life, those whose appearances are bizarrely hilarious, and an insight into the views and opinions that the main character holds. Her best friend Reva who is usually seen as an annoying inconvenience is a character who doesn't hold much depth within the story, yet comes across as a steady rock in the main character's life. The bulimic, sprite-drinking, not-so-best friend, working at the World Trade Center at the time gives us a constant insight into the protagonist's mind and her current view on life, relying on how irritating she is written in a particular scene. The author uses this insightful point-of-view/perspective writing to convey a sense of arrogance that the main character holds, a laughable naive outlook on life that warps her opinion of those closest to her. I think that Moshfegh has intentionally written this character to come across as deeply unlikeable at times as a self-reflection method targeting many readers; as confusing as the protagonist's intentions may be, it ignites a painful familiarity amongst many men and women alike and is an intriguing way of portraying an undeniable sadness surrounding modern human life and what is valued - disappointment and longing that is hard to avoid.
This spiral of an obsessive need to sleep is greatly fueled by the narrator's wacky, largely unethical therapist, who prescribes a mountain of pills and potions to aid this year-long hibernation. This therapist, who goes by 'Dr Tuttle' reinstates the darkly hilarious tone of the novel, due to her total obliviousness of her patients and their lives. A moment from the book that highlights the outrageous characters Moshfegh has created is the moment when our nameless narrator jokingly says that she murdered her own parents, in which dr Tuttle dismisses this statement, notes down something illegible, prescribes another dozen handfuls of Xanax and calls it a day.
There is no doubt that our main character has no stable support, and those around her seem to be only promoting her dark depression, although it does ask one question - is her life really that bad? Being a rich, skinny, blonde white woman living in a nice area in upper New York City is something most readers would envy, though this character paints it out to be nothing but endless turmoil. This trope is something that has been seen in countless other classic novels throughout time, which is a fascination of privileged young women, who see nothing good in their lives and rebel against their very nature by being extremely depressed and viewed as 'ungrateful'. While this element of the book is largely controversial, it is also intentional. Moshfegh is often penalised for writing about 'gross' things and using 'shock value' to draw in readers, though In my opinion, she is simply magnifying the cruel, unpleasant parts of life that we would rather gloss over. This once again reinforces the harsh realness and relatability that is a difficult skill to convey well, but something that Ottessa Moshfegh has proved she can do.
The eventual conclusion of the novel is one of the most important turning points of the story and jolts the reader awake as they begin to slump into a mindless sleep state along with the protagonist.
Moshfegh's character work and development is a crucial element of the ending, as the book is very much character-driven rather than plot-driven, and we are reminded of this due to a drastic change of psyche within the main character, although her life events have not progressed much. This creates a compelling narrative and makes you feel as if you have embarked on an emotional and spiritual journey alongside the narrator. As her hazy, drugged hibernation comes to an end, it is just before 9/11, which is a shocking wake-up call to the readers themselves. Life is finally returning to a sense of normality when an unknowing life-changing event is about to proceed, and we can only cover our eyes and reflect on this emotional final event that the main character's year of misery has been leading up to. As her best friend passes away in the World Trade Center, Moshfegh brutally reminds us of how unpredictable life can be, and how worthless wasting away in one's own misery can be. As the novel comes to an end, the whole point and message of the book aligns and you reach clarity as you finish reading about this miserably pretty rich girl sleeping her life away that has an additional profound message surrounding human nature and the funny, yet dark elements of what depression and utter numbness can do your mindset.
If you're looking to read something that is brutally honest, tender, and utterly heartwrenching that will have you chuckling to yourself, 'My Year of Rest and Relaxation' is a must-read. From delving into the gritting intensity of the young female experience to bizarre characters that make you question why you resonate with them, Ottessa Moshfegh has once again written a phenomenal novel that speaks to young adults around the world and done so in a unique style that is one hundred percent worth delving into.
Drafting process
This is the first draft of my feature article
In recent years, the portrayal of mental health issues in modern literature has undergone a significant transformation. Authors are increasingly weaving complex and authentic depictions of mental illness into their narratives, aiming to destigmatize these conditions and foster empathy. However, this shift has also sparked a debate about the potential consequences of glorifying mental health issues in literature, especially with regard to its impact on young and impressionable readers.
From bestsellers to critically acclaimed work, contemporary literature has seen a surge in characters grappling with various mental health challenges. While some argue that these portrayals provide valuable insight and bring up important topics and conversations, others worry that the glorification of mental health issues may romanticise suffering and lead to a normalisation of unhealthy behaviors.
Production
Final completed piece - Developing a feature article
Damaging Modern Novels - The Truth within the pages
In recent years, the portrayal of mental health issues in modern literature has undergone a significant transformation. Authors are increasingly weaving complex and authentic depictions of mental illness into their narratives, aiming to destigmatize these conditions and foster empathy. However, this shift has also sparked a debate about the potential consequences of glorifying mental health issues in literature, especially with regard to its impact on young and impressionable readers.
From bestsellers to critiaclly acclaimed work, contemporary literature has seen a surge in characters grappling with various mental health challenges. While some argue that these portrayals provide valuable insight and bring up important topics and conversations, others worry that the glorifacation of mental health issues may romanticise suffering and lead to a normalisation of unhealthy behaviours.
Chosen Piece 2 -
Evaluation
When I initially began writing this feature article, I was somewhat unsure of how I could effectively portray the subject of what I wanted to write about, without taking away the traditional elements of journalism writing.
Chosen Piece 3 -
Developing a poem
Introduction
My final chosen piece of writing is a poem called 'Having a cup of tea with you'. It is a rendition of 'Having a Coke with You' by Frank O'Hara and mimics the themes and style of writing that O'Hara used himself. The theme of my poem is about a mother and son dynamic and tells a story about the agony of growing up, the trials and tribulations of life, and how they can impact valued relationships. It also portrays the warmth and stability of motherly love and uses the subject of 'A cup of tea' as a metaphor for familiarity and unconditional love. I wrote the first draft of this poem during 'Poetry' in our weekly sessions, after being given the exercise to mimic famous poems and make them our own. It takes the form of a classic poem, using stanzas and poetic devices/structure to demonstrate the message that I want to convey.
Ideas and inspiration
My ideas and inspiration for this piece came from reading the poem 'Having a Coke with You' by Frank O'Hara. We studied and analysed this poem in class and identified the theme, tone, and poetic devices. We were then tasked to 'mimic' this poem, which focused on writing our own poem that shared the same attributes, such as theme, mood, structure, and crafting. I then created this piece in response to the activity. 'Having a Coke with You' stood out to me as I was intrigued by the author's use of everyday, mundane elements of life (Sharing a Can of Coke) to metaphorically reference some kind of unconditional love. I took this idea and made it my own by using a cup of tea as a placeholder that references the love and adoration between a mother and a child. I also liked the way in which O'Hara structured his poem, as it seemed to almost resemble a train of thoughts, following this person's progression of feelings through the whole piece. This inspired me to mimic this style of writing as it conveyed a clear and powerful message of love, which is something that I aimed to do in my own piece of work.
Another element of my inspiration came from my own personal experiences, and although I may not be able to relate to the somewhat melancholy theme of my poem, I used my feelings of gratitude and love towards my own mother to help craft the tone and emotion.
Research
In order to craft and create my poem effectively, I conducted some research to aid me when writing a piece that I wanted to flow easily and impact the reader with strong emotions. I decided to research a range of poetic tools and techniques, such as the use of alliteration, metaphors, personification, and imagery. Practicing using these techniques in my poetry helped to bring my poem to life and become more appealing to a reader. I also went back through my notes for our poetry sessions and analysed the previous poems that I had written and incorporated such techniques, then included them in this piece.
Skill sessions
The one weekly session that predominantly helped me to write this poem was our Week 8 Poetry lessons. (Linked here)
The exercise in which we had to analyse and mimic well-known poems was particularly helpful as it aided me in understanding the techniques that make a good poem. For example, we analysed 'Ark' by Simon Armitage, and noted down the tools he used to create an impactful piece about current world issues. he used techniques such as imagery, personification, and metaphors, which I later used in my own work. After analysing, we were given the task to mimic this poem, which helped to craft an emotional piece and push me out of my comfort zone as we were given a set prompt to write about, one which I wouldn't usually think to demonstrate.
During the same task, we had to mimic 'Having a Coke with You' by Frank O'Hara, which was one of my main inspirations when writing this poem. I took a liking to O'hara's work due to his style of writing and word choice, which is why I chose my rendition of his poem as one of my three chosen pieces.
Researching different poetic tools and techniques during these poetry sessions further helped me to craft my poem as it brought emotion and reinforced the prevalence of the theme and tone. Some examples include metaphors, personification, and imagery, which I have used throughout this piece.
Our 'Specificity and Show and not tell' sessions were also important when writing my poem, as it reminded me to show the emotions through my words, rather than directly telling the reader how they should feel. This helped with the metaphorical element of my poem.
Finally, in week 7 when we studied extended metaphors I found that I learned a lot about how to implement a metaphor/meaning throughout the entirety of a written piece. In this poem, the metaphor of love and warmth is constantly referenced using the phrase 'having a cup of tea'. I feel like this metaphor being used multiple times adds to the impactful meaning of the poem.
Independent reading
During our poetry sessions in class, we did look at some additional poems by Frank O'Hara, including a piece called 'Ave Maria', in which we also had to mimic. This poem also inspired my own work as the mother and child dynamic that the author implicates to convey his theme was similar to my own ideas.
As I enjoyed 'Having a Coke with you', and it struck my emotions and inspirations so much, I decided to do some further reading of my own to identify comparisons between my attempts at mimicking his poems, and his own work. I also wanted to analyse techniques that O'Hara used and incorporate them into my own writing, in my own style. I looked at a poem called 'Morning', in which O'Hara describes the feeling of missing someone and how he is unable to live without them., and reliving the life one used to have with someone. I liked the message of this poem as I could compare the tone of reminiscence to my own work, and admired the use of comparisons to highlight important emotions.
As I am a fan of poetry myself, I have already read many poems and short pieces, so in order to gain further understanding of what makes a good poem, I looked at some published examples of poems that I have found to be my favourite, and inspired/impacted me. For example, I looked at 'Ariel' by Sylvia Plath, which is a collection of her best-known poems. One particular poem called 'Letter in November' stuck out to me, as I admired the images of beauty and happiness, though through her word choice and imagery, contradicts herself and the reader's expectations with contrasting negative ideas. I felt like this had a similar theme to my poem, as in my own work I continuously emphasised a tone of love and warmth, though later on in the piece I took these content conventions and used them to portray a sense of sadness and longing. Additionally, I studied the poetic tools that Plath implemented in this poem, which included figurative language such as the word 'green' to portray a sense of growth and fecundity.
Looking at the work of authors that I admired and comparing them to my own pieces helped me to further expand my writing skills and inspire myself to create and craft a piece of writing that affects people in the same way that these well-known poems affect me.
Aims and ambitions for this piece
My aims and ambitions for this poem were to create a piece that tells a story, that can be interpreted through words and sentence structure alone. I didn't have a specific target audience in mind, as I wanted this poem to speak to anyone who reads it, whether they are a mother, son, or anyone who has experienced the themes that I have portrayed in this piece. I also wanted to write about something out of my comfort zone and expand my skills as a writer as well as improve my poetry crafting. Writing this poem could also help me to write creative stories, due to my use of metaphors and creative word choice - this has transferable skills when creating emotion in a story or novel.
Ideally, this poem would be placed in some kind of poetry magazine, or in a poetry column in a newspaper. It could also take part in a poetry or creative writing competition.
Pre-Production
Poetry exercise
In order to improve my crafting skills within my chosen poem, I decided to do a mini-development of a poem that I wrote during Week 8. This also helped me to practice drafting my pieces, which can be relevant to any type of writing that I do. Below is the original poem, and the second draft/development. As you can see, I included a few extra lines and included more descriptive words and alliteration to give the poem a relaxing and serene tone - much like the beach I am writing about. This exercise helped me to understand why drafting and editing are such important crafting tools, and how I can use these skills when writing my final piece. Although I didn't choose this poem as one of my three pieces of work, it still helped me to expand my knowledge as a writer.
Skills, Techniques, and process of this piece - How I developed it
When writing my first draft of this poem, I focused predominantly on the words and language that I used in order to convey emotion. I found this important as I wanted to show the feeling within this piece rather than telling the reader how they should interpret it, as the tone was mainly metaphorical. When editing and writing drafts, I still wanted to keep this element, though, after some feedback from my tutor, I realised that it wasn't immediately clear what this poem was about, which could ultimately spark confusion and disguise the emotion that I wanted to portray. This is why I decided to include some subtle context in my second draft, which included words like 'son' and 'child', to show that the theme revolved around the dynamic between a mother and son. I also decided to change the second and third lines, as I felt the word choice was too harsh and didn't illustrate the warm, loving tone that the beginning of the poem should have. Changing the second line from 'Doesn't ignite a spark within me' to 'Shall not spark vexation within' helped to switch the narrative from a lack of interest towards the mother to an appreciative gesture, implying that the mother keeps the son calm. I used this same method when switching the word choice on the fifth line as I replaced 'lukewarm' with 'clement', as it means not too hot or too cold. Another change I made in the second draft was breaking up the seventh line into two separate lines, as I felt like it would help the poem flow better.
When writing my third and final drafts, I was ultimately happy with the word choice and how it demonstrated the theme and tone of the poem, so I kept this the same apart from including a selection of more descriptive words to further add emotion. I did, however, include a few additional lines at the end of my poem. I did this because I felt like the story within the poem didn't have much of a conclusion, so therefore the extra lines would finalise this piece. I also decided to keep the repetition of the phrase 'having a cup of tea with you' as it emphasised the subject of the poem and continuously reinforced the metaphor of love 'a cup of tea'.
Another line that I decided to keep was the eleventh and twelfth line; 'Until it wasn't' 'One black coffee please'. I kept these, as I thought that they had an emotional impact and portrayed a sense of change in the poem - the moment when the mother and son relationship is impacted by the son growing up. My tutor's original feedback to this poem also impacted this decision, as he stated this line was 'powerful' and highlighted 'the moment when things changed'.
My final crafting technique within this poem was to edit the structure. After our poetry sessions in class and independent research, I learned how important structure is when writing a poem, as it can impact the tone, how it is read and contribute to the overall meaning or message of the poem. This is why I decided to break up my poem into individual stanzas to highlight the main events in the poem.
First draft
To Traverse the Coast
Roaring waves splash splash so suddenly
Wind whispers and moans
Cerulean serenity
Crunchy polished pebbles
On a bed of sand
Caws of gulls and salty tide
Over my giant grin
Second draft/developed piece
To Traverse the Coast
Roaring breakers splash so suddenly
Whistles and whispers of wind howl signals
Not phased by their ravishing shades of sapphire
Cerulean serenity
The crunch of polished pebbles
At rest on a bed of sand
Cacophonous caws of gulls
Spitting droplets of salty tide
Over my grin stricken face
Original piece/First Draft
This is my original draft of the poem that I created during our poetry sessions in class
Having a cup of tea with you
Having a cup of tea with you
Doesn't ignite a spark within me
Nor does it freeze my heart and leave me shivering
Having a cup of tea with you
Engulfs me in lukewarm motherly love
And grounds me with such cordiality.
That sweet spot between profuse swaddling and soulless neglect
Perks me up
Just as two spoonfuls of sugar should
Having a cup of tea with you was all I knew
Until it wasn't
''One black coffee please''
Two spoonfuls of sugar just weren't enough
To keep me running from the peril of adolescence
Such peril that became adulthood
Faster than a kettle could boil
To prepare for a cup of tea with you
You stayed there
Sipping the sweet reminiscence
Of playground days and bittersweet bedtimes
That last mound of sugar
At the bottom of the mug
Drafting Process
This is the second draft of my developed poem.
Having a cup of tea with you
Shall not spark vexation within
Nor freeze my heart and leave me shivering
Having a cup of tea with you
Engulfs me in clement motherly love
And grounds me with sweet cordiality.
That perfect spot
Between profuse swaddling and soulless neglect
Perks me up
Just as two spoonfuls of sugar should
Mother and son, teabag and water
Having a cup of tea with you was all I knew
Until it wasn't
''One black coffee please''
Two spoonfuls of sugar just weren't enough
To keep me running from the peril of adolescence
Such peril that became adulthood
Faster than a kettle could boil
To prepare for a cup of tea with you
You stayed there
Sipping the sweet reminiscence
Of playground days and bittersweet bedtimes
That last mound of sugar
At the bottom of the mug
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Evidence of my first drafts and initial ideas from our poetry poetry sessions in class.
This is the third draft of my developed poem
Having a cup of tea with you
Shall not spark vexation within
Nor freeze my heart and leave me shivering
Having a cup of tea with you
Engulfs me in clement motherly love
And grounds me with sweet cordiality.
That perfect spot
Between profuse swaddling and soulless neglect
Perks me up
Just as two spoonfuls of sugar should
Mother and son, teabag and water
Having a cup of tea with you was all I knew
Until it wasn't
''One black coffee please''
Two spoonfuls of sugar just weren't enough
To keep me running from the peril of adolescence
Such peril became adulthood
Faster than a kettle could boil,
To prepare a cup of tea with you
You stayed there
Sipping the sweet reminiscence
Of playground days and bittersweet bedtimes
That last mound of sugar
At the bottom of the mug
One last boil, though not with rage
Your understanding gaze leaves me battered and bruised
If I ever make a return
Head hung with wounding shame
I won't be scolded
''For old times sake''
You get out the mugs and perch by my feet
Having a cup of tea with you
Once again
Production
Final completed piece - 'Having a Cup of Tea with You' Poem
Having a Cup of Tea With You
Having a cup of tea with you
Shall not spark vexation within
Nor freeze my heart and leave me shivering
Having a cup of tea with you
Engulfs me in clement motherly love
And grounds me with sweet cordiality.
That perfect spot
Between profuse swaddling and soulless neglect
Perks me up
Just as two spoonfuls of sugar should
Nine months of brewing
A lifetime of gratification
One would hope
Mother and son, teabag and water
Having a cup of tea with you was all I knew
Until it wasn't
''One black coffee please''
Two spoonfuls of sugar just weren't enough
To keep me running from the peril of adolescence
Such peril became adulthood
Faster than a kettle could boil,
To prepare a cup of tea with you
You stayed there
Sipping the sweet reminiscence
Of playground days and bittersweet bedtimes
That last mound of sugar
At the bottom of the mug
One last boil, though not with rage
Your understanding gaze leaves me battered and bruised
If I ever make a return
Head hung with wounding shame
I won't be scolded
''For old times sake''
You get out the mugs and perch by my feet
Having a cup of tea with you
Once again
Chosen Piece 3 -
Evaluation
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When developing this poem, I was initially unsure on how I could develop it, as it was something that I had never done before. However, after evaluating and answering the questions we were given during the introduction part of our portfolio, I began to understand how I could achieve the goals of crafting a poem that I had already written into an improved/extended version. The process of developing this piece began with me highlighting the parts of the poem that I thought worked best within the original version and what I wanted to keep. This helped me to distinguish my best pieces of work, and how to incorporate them into the rest of the poem. I then began the editing process and cut out the lines and words that were not needed, or that made the poem slightly confusing. This included words such as 'lukewarm' and 'shall not spark a fire in my heart.' I changed these as I felt like it painted the mother figure in my poem in a bad light, which were not my intentions. Breaking up my poem into separate stanzas also allowed me to become more confident with the rhythm of the piece, and allowed the lines to flow beader and become easier to read.
When it comes to the areas of my poem that still need development, I think that the length of the poem could be improved. I initially struggled when it came to making my poem long enough to be able to tell a story, and tried to fix this by adding more lines and stanzas. If I had to go back and develop this piece again, this is what I could focus on improving, and is a pointer into how I can develop my poems in the future.
The final draft effectively matched my original ideas and ambitions, as I feel like it tells a story using imagery, word choice and structure. The first draft told the same story of a mother and son, though was more difficult to understand due to the lack of context and structure. I fixed this by including relevant words that relate to the story in the poem, such as 'mother' and 'son', whilst also breaking up my poem into stanzas, as I previously mentioned. I have attactched an example of the literary tools that have helped to craft my poem below.
I have also attached a relevant published example of poetry that draws comparisons between my work and and industry examples, as well as highlighting how I have taken inspiration from this example, and used similar techniques in my own poem. I have chosen 'Having a Coke with You' by Frank O'Hara, as it was my main inspiration for my chosen poem.
My poem compares to the professional industry/professional standard work, as it uses similar techniques and styles of writing. I have analysed these skills in my attontations of my own poem above. For example, the poem by Frank O'Hara which I have attached above shares the same tone of love and appreciation as my poem does. Both poems also constantly refer to metaphors and personifacation that reference a deep adoration towards another person, that comes across as raw and honest. Personally, I think that my poem is possibly less polished than that of other established poets who can take many years to perfect their craft. I draw my inspiration from poets, writers, and lyricists such as Leonard Cohen, Jeff Buckley, Donna Tartt, and Carol Ann Duffy. The main comparison of my work between professional standard work is 'Having a Coke with You' by Frank O'Hara, as he was the main inspiration for this poem. I have included similar techniques as him, which I have pointed out in my annotations above.
When I asked my mum to help to proofread my final poem, she noticed that my poem had a rather 'thought-provoking' tone and that this was clear due to my descriptive word choice and metaphors. This thought-provoking element is also relevant in 'Having a Coke with You'.
I have also included a range of skills that I have learnt throughout the entirety of this course, which include narrative devices, such as structure, tone, theme and genre. Additionally, I have used similar skills when creating my other pieces. An example of this is the use of theme and genre in my crime writing piece, in which I have used genre conventions and themes of mystery to help support my plot and make the story more interesting to the reader.
When writing this poem, I have also used typical conventions within fiction and poetry, such as figurative language, and imagery. These same techniques are also present within my feature writing article, as I have implemented the use of imagery to get my point across and put the reader in a certain situation as a persuasive technique.
Makin these comparisons between all my three pieces of writing have helped me to identify the transferable skills within any type of writing, and why having the knowledge of these skills and tools is important.
My target audience for this piece is not extremely specific, though I think the kind of people that would be drawn to this piece would mostly be mothers and sons/daughters - as they could relate to the premise and theme of the poem. As I touched on in my introduction, I want this piece to come across as touching and emotional, and I think that I have mostly satisfied these goals. However, if I could do one thing differently throughout this process, it would be to take my time and study the areas of my piece in greater depth. One way that I could have executed this is by some extra planning, such as a mind map or diagram to illustrate all my ideas at once.
Overall, the message of this piece is about the relationship between a mother and a son, and how their dynamic can be impacted negatively by the strain of growing up. However, the element of love is always present, even in darker times and family feuds. The poem tells a story about the power of motherly love and patience, and I would hope that it comes across as heartfelt and impactful to anyone who happens to read it.
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Presentation
Below is my PowerPoint presentation which is a brief visual guide explaining each piece of chosen writing, including my inspiration, writing process, skill sessions, and evaluations. We had to present this to the class as a part of our Portfolio 1 project.
Tutor Feedback
Here is some feedback for the first terms work. Any questions let me. I will set up a tutorial session soon too go through the work and moving forward.
Polly Foster – Distinction
Skills
A strong link to transferable skills throughout the portfolio.
Strong reference to the plot and structure theory sessions showing evidence of hero’s journey – you have identified the genre conventions and demonstrate a strong knowledge of the conventions/tropes and setting an appropriate tone. The presentation and the portfolio show you have built solid foundations this term to build upon and continue to develop as a writer and academic.
Your use of inverted pyramid was interesting for story structure in a fiction piece.
Excellent use of character study and development of main story ingredients demonstrated throughout to show a solid understanding of these essential skills.
Your word choice is excellent, and the work shows a strong understanding of the importance of strong verbs and showing not telling techniques.
The detail in the production is excellent and clearly shows an investment in the planning and understanding of the main ingredients of story and characters needs/wants driving the story.
Continue to refine and develop both word choice and syntax – looking at how the words and the sentence structure adds to characterisation, character arc, story and tone. E.g why an old fashioned mystery tone and how does that fit with the characters?
Your poems are effectively crafted and clearly show the skills we explored in the sessions – the further reading shows how you have embraced the showing techniques plus the editing and crafting of the work. Excellent use of extended metaphor to deepen the emotional impact you were looking for.
Research
Identified published work as a source of knowledge and development of knowledge.
Strong context of your journalism journey
All work is evidenced with the strong links and reference to our sessions – identifying how the reading and techniques were identified, explored and then used to inspire and influence – impressive throughout the whole of the terms and the portfolio.
Would like to see more reference to reading and published work going forward to identify the writer’s process and narrative/literary tools – developing the reading like a writer skills. More quotes and evidence from the reading and examples that have inspired.
Progression
Good awareness of audience and skills needed in a range of writer’s fields.
Skill foundation for writing novels, short stories and working in publishing.
Skills foundations for working across creative media productions.
Journalism skills will be useful for work in print and broadcast journalism.
Evaluation
Lots of evidence of decisions and choices made during the writer’s process – why you chose a specific structure theory etc – choices of perspective and your reasons given as evidence - all to a high level for this stage of the course. The detail of why you chose specific word to set a mysterious tone – old-fashioned mystery tone - is described effectively – sounding like a writer.
Intelligent reflections and enjoyable read.
The portfolio is effectively written to a high academic standard.
Other comments
so I tried to also keep it modern, so it is easy to read.
I’m not sure you mean this – not easy to read, but accessible to a YA readership perhaps – always treat our readers as sophisticated intelligent people.
I rather like the old fashioned – Dorothy L Sayer-like – style of the crime piece.
That was until the morning of December eighth, 1965
It feels as if it was much earlier than this – say 1930’s perhaps – something to ruminate on.
Poem drafts show a determination to find the right mood, message and words to show this narrative – I’m unsure of some word choices in this line: Between profuse swaddling and soulless neglect.
Why soulless neglect?
Outstanding work and a great terms work – shows talent, enthusiasm and a willingness to learn the craft.